If you are one of the adoption triad, you may be feeling things and experiencing emotions that are difficult for you to understand – so expecting others to understand would be nigh on impossible.
Adoption throws up unexpected reactions and barriers. Together we can explore those feelings and help you to understand why you feel the way you do. My understanding of this area enables me to help you experience validation for how you have been feeling – maybe for years.
If you were adopted, you may feel you don’t quite ‘fit in’ despite a loving, supportive family. Others might find your behaviour challenging as you struggle to work out your identity. You attribute this down to other things – avoiding blaming your adoption on your feelings. You might have developed patterns of behaviour that you struggle to break – especially regarding intimate relationships in adulthood. Your adoption experience was pre-verbal but your loss was real and felt at a deep level. As an adult, this has probably left you fearful of rejection or abandonment.
If you adopted a baby or child, you might wonder why you are not as close as you’d like – maybe you feel a kind of distance between you and your adopted child. Despite your best efforts, you may feel rejected. Perhaps your child’s behaviour is challenging, or the opposite – they may seem withdrawn or compliant? I can help you to understand why this is.
If you have given up your child for adoption, you might feel a sense of loss or grief that you have not been able to express or process. Perhaps you feel shame, or maybe the decision was taken out of your hands, leaving you feeling powerless. Giving up a baby to another family is a life-changing event – one that needs to be explored in an empathic and understanding environment.
Adoption is often seen as a wonderful thing, but the feelings experienced by all parties are very real and rarely explored. I can help with that.