February 2023 News and Updates

By Lara | February 8, 2023

Hi everyone It’s been a while since my last email. I hope you’re all doing OK – I am personally very much looking forward to Spring. The dark winter months can wreak havoc with our mental health so it’s really important to keep those self-care routines going through the dark, cold months. The above photograph…

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Newsletter & Updates – Adoptee Retreat

By Lara | September 1, 2022

Hi everyone As you may be aware, we are running an online event / virtual retreat on Saturday 15th October, aimed at adoptees. Timings for the event are 10:00 to 3:30 BST, and we are excited to announce the agenda has been finalised. The following are the main sessions of the day: Yoga and meditation…

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Relinquishment is Trauma

By Lara | August 18, 2022

As we now understand, adoption creates trauma, and it is towards the wider acceptance of this fact that I and my colleagues at How to be Adopted work. If you have not already heard of Paul Sunderland, look him up. His work is fascinating and endlessly enlightening. Meanwhile, listen to this amazing interview which highlights…

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August 2022 Newsletter

By Lara | August 2, 2022

2 minute read Hello lovely people It’s been a while since my last email. Lots has been going on in the world which I know affects us all in different ways. I hope you are managing to stay grounded and exercise self-care through the tricky times. For me personally the last couple of years have…

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It’s Not In Your Head: Sleep Deprivation Makes Your Anxiety Worse

By Lara | October 31, 2021

Guest blog by Eric Kelly of My Dadventures If you have a mental health disorder like anxiety, ADHD, or depression, or you’re in a high-stress position at work (learn more about how stress affects managers here), you might think you feel worse after a night of poor sleep. The truth is that you probably do…

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“We don’t see you as adopted” and other misguided declarations of love

By Lara | October 21, 2021

“We don’t see you as adopted” and other misguided declarations of love. Why is saying this a problem? Surely this is a good thing, right? Surely this means that their love for the adoptee is boundless, unconditional? Equal to the love given to a biological child perhaps? But this statement can make an adopted person…

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Instinct Intuition Inner Voice 101 – their role in Happiness and Wellbeing

By Lara | October 6, 2021

How does instinct intuition inner voice affect our happiness? I have been thinking a lot recently about this, and more specifically the collision between our inner worlds and instincts or intuition and the outside world, with all its rules, expectation guidelines. I see how for many people, this collision creates a conflict in the way…

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Adoptee Attachment | Type D / Disorganised Attachment | Trauma | Dissociation | Adoption Parenting

By Lara | September 22, 2021

 Adoptee Attachment Following on from my research into well-being in adults adopted as infants, I have created this video which offers insight into how attachment styles are formed; the history of attachment theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth), the introduction of type D Attachment (Main & Solomon), and how in particular type D attachment often follows a traumatic…

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6 Important Considerations | Best Adoption Parenting Practices | Adoption Research

By Lara | August 1, 2021

Why research wellbeing, adoption and adoption parenting? My interest in wellbeing stems from my own struggles as an adoptee to live with wellbeing. I was adopted very soon after birth, in England in 1970. Back then there was very little education for prospective adopters and adoptive parents around how to parent a traumatised baby or…

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2 tools to re-frame low mood

By Lara | June 15, 2021

What tools are there to re-frame low mood? I have been thinking a lot recently about low mood. There are so many factors in life that contribute to mood, but when we feel ourselves dip, it can result in despair. For many, factors outside of our control can result in our feeling powerless and stuck,…

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