2024 Spring Retreat for Adoptees

By Lara | October 2, 2023

Hi everyone We had a really successful first retreat for adoptees in June 2023. Whilst our venue was idyllic, some feedback was that single rooms was the preference (most were sharing). So we’ve taken that on board, and searched high and low to find a suitable venue for our second retreat in 2024. Spring 2024…

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First Retreat for Adopted Adults – June 2023

By Lara | June 13, 2023

Gilli and I ran our first ever retreat for adult adoptees earlier this month. We hosted it in the beautiful surroundings of Rydal Water, near Grasmere. To our knowledge, this is the first of its kind and we wanted to deliver a weekend that was peaceful, calm and welcoming. The struggles of adoptees are little…

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February 2023 News and Updates

By Lara | February 8, 2023

Hi everyone It’s been a while since my last email. I hope you’re all doing OK – I am personally very much looking forward to Spring. The dark winter months can wreak havoc with our mental health so it’s really important to keep those self-care routines going through the dark, cold months. The above photograph…

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Newsletter & Updates – Adoptee Retreat

By Lara | September 1, 2022

Hi everyone As you may be aware, we are running an online event / virtual retreat on Saturday 15th October, aimed at adoptees. Timings for the event are 10:00 to 3:30 BST, and we are excited to announce the agenda has been finalised. The following are the main sessions of the day: Yoga and meditation…

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Relinquishment is Trauma

By Lara | August 18, 2022

As we now understand, adoption creates trauma, and it is towards the wider acceptance of this fact that I and my colleagues at How to be Adopted work. If you have not already heard of Paul Sunderland, look him up. His work is fascinating and endlessly enlightening. Meanwhile, listen to this amazing interview which highlights…

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August 2022 Newsletter

By Lara | August 2, 2022

2 minute read Hello lovely people It’s been a while since my last email. Lots has been going on in the world which I know affects us all in different ways. I hope you are managing to stay grounded and exercise self-care through the tricky times. For me personally the last couple of years have…

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“We don’t see you as adopted” and other misguided declarations of love

By Lara | October 21, 2021

“We don’t see you as adopted” and other misguided declarations of love. Why is saying this a problem? Surely this is a good thing, right? Surely this means that their love for the adoptee is boundless, unconditional? Equal to the love given to a biological child perhaps? But this statement can make an adopted person…

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Adoptee Attachment | Type D / Disorganised Attachment | Trauma | Dissociation | Adoption Parenting

By Lara | September 22, 2021

 Adoptee Attachment Following on from my research into well-being in adults adopted as infants, I have created this video which offers insight into how attachment styles are formed; the history of attachment theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth), the introduction of type D Attachment (Main & Solomon), and how in particular type D attachment often follows a traumatic…

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6 Important Considerations | Best Adoption Parenting Practices | Adoption Research

By Lara | August 1, 2021

Why research wellbeing, adoption and adoption parenting? My interest in wellbeing stems from my own struggles as an adoptee to live with wellbeing. I was adopted very soon after birth, in England in 1970. Back then there was very little education for prospective adopters and adoptive parents around how to parent a traumatised baby or…

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