Adoptee
The Hidden Pain of Adoption and Parenthood: What No One Talks About
For many adopted people, deciding whether to have children brings up complicated feelings. It’s not just about timing or preference. Questions about identity, family history, and early experiences of loss can all play a part when adoption and parenthood intersect. These factors are often present even when no one talks about them openly. As an…
Adoptee Reunion: Healing, Truth and the Search for Identity
Adoptee Reunion – What can I expect? Adoptee Reunion is different for everyone and it is not just a single moment. For many adopted people, it is a gradual unfolding of truth, grief, relief, and often more questions. In this recent conversation with fellow adopted person Gilli, we explored what it means to come face to…
2024 Spring Retreat for Adoptees
Hi everyone We had a really successful first retreat for adoptees in June 2023. Whilst our venue was idyllic, some feedback was that single rooms was the preference (most were sharing). So we’ve taken that on board, and searched high and low to find a suitable venue for our second retreat in 2024. Spring 2024…
First Retreat for Adopted Adults – June 2023
Gilli and I ran our first ever retreat for adult adoptees earlier this month. We hosted it in the beautiful surroundings of Rydal Water, near Grasmere. To our knowledge, this is the first of its kind and we wanted to deliver a weekend that was peaceful, calm and welcoming. The struggles of adoptees are little…
February 2023 News and Updates
Hi everyone It’s been a while since my last email. I hope you’re all doing OK – I am personally very much looking forward to Spring. The dark winter months can wreak havoc with our mental health so it’s really important to keep those self-care routines going through the dark, cold months. The above photograph…
Newsletter & Updates – Adoptee Retreat
Hi everyone As you may be aware, we are running an online event / virtual retreat on Saturday 15th October, aimed at adoptees. Timings for the event are 10:00 to 3:30 BST, and we are excited to announce the agenda has been finalised. The following are the main sessions of the day: Yoga and meditation…
Relinquishment is Trauma
As we now understand, adoption creates trauma, and it is towards the wider acceptance of this fact that I and my colleagues at How to be Adopted work. If you have not already heard of Paul Sunderland, look him up. His work is fascinating and endlessly enlightening. Meanwhile, listen to this amazing interview which highlights…
August 2022 Newsletter
2 minute read Hello lovely people It’s been a while since my last email. Lots has been going on in the world which I know affects us all in different ways. I hope you are managing to stay grounded and exercise self-care through the tricky times. For me personally the last couple of years have…
“We don’t see you as adopted” and other misguided declarations of love
“We don’t see you as adopted” and other misguided declarations of love. Why is saying this a problem? Surely this is a good thing, right? Surely this means that their love for the adoptee is boundless, unconditional? Equal to the love given to a biological child perhaps? But this statement can make an adopted person…