Seek out the facts
Negative self-talk will take a small issue, such as an extra five pounds of weight on your body’s frame, and call it out as “lost cause, fatty, etc.” This is not true. You are not defined as anything because you have five pounds to lose. Look at the facts: “I have five pounds to lose. And I can lose it by exercising more and focusing my diet here, here and here.” The facts sound sane and give you logical actions to take to solve issues, not berate yourself for having them.
Name the self-talk
That inner voice that leaves us feeling bloodied and battered needs a name. Whether it’s “The Wicked Witch of the West” or “The Nag,” by naming your negative self-talker, you can identify more quickly when he/she shows up. “Oh here that Wicked Witch comes…” puts you in a place of perspective, slowing down the anxiety of negativity.
Create a positive debate
The next time you hear yourself say: “You’re a lost cause. No one cares about you,” put another voice on the debate platform. “Really? No one cares about me? What about my good friend? My mother? My partner? The children?” It won’t take long for those negative thoughts to seem ridiculous within a realistic context.
Let perfection go
Perfectionism is impossible. By letting go of extremely high standards, and affording yourself grace, the negative self-talk that pervades your thinking doesn’t have a place. Have you made a mistake? Expect to make more of them. The more flexible and gracious you are with yourself, the more flexible and gracious you are to those around you.