It can be hard, moving on.
Accepting the new normal can be difficult to do, especially when it isn’t something we wanted. Take moving on from a relationship. In a scenario when our partner left us, we may resist moving on at all.
Emotional freedom only comes about when we accept our reality. Because only then can we grieve for what we have lost. The energy that resistance uses is draining, but hatred is motivating, and its so much easier on our ‘self-concept’ to hate and resist than to accept. We can ‘rally the troops’ and others will join in our narratives and validate us as we turn the person that left us into a monster. So, we may find ourselves vacillating between feeling angrily motivated and emotionally exhausted.
But the problem is this: easy does not equal peaceful so we may find ourselves stuck. Acceptance is hard, because it means we may have to face the reality and take responsibility for ourselves. No other person can be responsible for our happiness. We have to take ownership of our own lives. If we make someone or something responsible for our happiness, we are vulnerable to misery. And we are a highly evolved species with ‘executive function’. We have a choice.
Burying or suppressing the grief and sadness and replacing it with anger and outward negativity will only work for a while. It will come back and bite. It will affect our health, our mood, our anxieties. We should allow the sadness, cry, grieve, accept and only then can we move on with inner peace.
As we age, our ‘existential anxiety’ prompts with an inner voice us to do more, experience more and fulfil our potential. It’s a natural part of getting older – commonly known as a mid-life crisis and hits men and women at different points. But it comes to us all as we ponder the life we have ahead, and we ask ourselves ‘am I living my full potential?’ If the answer is ‘no’, we won’t find inner peace unless we do something about it.
So, think about whether there’s a situation you are resistant to accepting.
Can you grieve, accept, let go and fulfil your own potential?